When Thing Fall Apart

Sometime ago a co-worker of mine asked me to recommend a book on meditation or Buddhism. She knew that I had been taking time off work to go on meditation retreats and she was curious to learn more. So one day I brought one of my favorite books into the office, a little book called When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. I handed the book to my co-worker and offered to loan it to her, but as soon as she read the title she said something like, "Oh, no! That's too depressing! I don't want to read this. I want to read something uplifting." And that was that. There was nothing I could say to change her mind.

Actually, though, its a great little book for anyone who wants to learn about meditation or Buddhism or just how to deal with uncertainty and change. Personally, I did not find it at all depressing. I found it incredibly inspiring. So much so that I ordered the audio tapes of Pema Chodron reading this book and I listened to those tapes over and over again for a period of about one year. I was struggling with depression and anxiety at this time, and for me, just listening to Pema Chodron's wise, compassionate voice giving such practical, down-to-earth advice was a good antidote to my depression.

Pema Chodron is a American who became a Buddhist nun in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. Before becoming a nun, she was married and had two children. When she was in her mid-thirties, her husband left her for a younger woman, and this caused her to have a sort of spiritual crisis. She began searching for answers, and eventually she met her first Buddhist teacher, Lama Chime Rinpoche, and eventually she took ordination as a nun with Chime Rinpoche. She also began receiving teachings from Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, who was one of the first Tibetan Lama's that began teaching extensively in the United States. Trungpa Rinpoche became Pema Chodron's main teacher, and she studied with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. It was Trungpa Rinpoche who encouraged Pema Chodron to begin teaching herself.

In a recent teaching, Pema Chodron recounts a conversation that she had with Trungpa Rinpoche. She explains that she was going through a major transition in her life, and she didn't know where she would be living or what should would be doing next. When she confided in Trungpa Rinpoche about how difficult it was for her to deal with this transition, Trungpa Rinpoche looked at her kindly and said, "We are always in transition. If you could just realize this, your life would be so much easier."

Pema Chodron talks a lot about dealing with uncertainty and change in When Things Fall Apart. She also uses this point of view as a context for dealing with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. One of the most memorable passages in the book for me is when Pema Chodron talks about "the worst person in the world." She explains that she receives many letters from her readers and every once in a while she receives a letter from someone who feels that they are "the worst person in the world." She explains that when she learns more about his person, she always finds a kind, thoughtful person who is trying to become a better person, but who is much too hard on themselves. This little jewel of advice has been very helpful for me to remember over and over again at times when I have been feeling myself that I must be "the worst person in the world."

Pema Chodron is a kind, compassionate guide to dealing with life's difficulties, and When Things Fall Apart is one of her most accessible books.